Job Applications

So, I'm applying for jobs, jobs that pay more than $xx.xx/hr. Yeah, I'm contractually bound not to discuss my wage with anyone. To stay where I am, in the home I've made, I have to get a better paying job. To stay where I am and be able to afford a new car, I have to get a better paying job. At the very bare minimum, I need to be making at least $16/hr to be comfortable and know that I can take a week off without it dramatically effecting my ability to pay bills. As it is, if I were to divide shared bills equally and what not.... I would not be able to pay my equal share on my current income. I thank God that my husband is reasonable and considerate and incredibly patient with my lack of financial contribution to our home.

It is incredibly frustrating to have a college degree, to graduate with honors from both high school and college, and to have very little to show for it. My car was sold the year I began learning cursive. I cannot afford a new car. I honestly have no idea what I would do right now if my car broke down again. That reminds me that I need to finish paying off my last car repairs. I hate being in this position financially. The only thing I could do to make any difference in the financial situation is move to a much less expensive home, and honestly, as my DH has so gently reminded me, for us to find space for us, for our belongings, as is, we would only save a few hundred dollars between the two of us. That is enough for a car payment, but honestly, I just want things to go the way I had planned! I know there are so many people in the same position as I am, or worse, and I know people are in worse positions. It's just, gah!, not what I had in mind for a college graduate.

I did get myself into this. I chose teaching, I knew it wasn't the best pay. But, I knew that "real" teachers made a decent wage, a living wage. A lot of teacher's complain about low pay, but really, 6 weeks vacation at the bare minimum, more like 8-10 weeks, and starting at the high $30K a year. I didn't even make $30K this year, but what can I expect out of an economical childcare facility?

Many of you have heard why I am searching for a job. I have been miserable a good portion of the last 10-11 months. I'm sure I have complained to most of you reading. I don't appreciate the unprofessional behavior of certain administrative persons at my work place and I know I'm not the only one. Honestly, there's got to be a smoother way to run things. Other's have visited other locations and had a much calmer experience. Favoritism. Dishonesty. Seemingly erratic behavior. Constant change that does not appear to have reason. Dishonesty and favoritism are high on the list of annoyances. but not being able to give 100% to my job because of policy, because of controlling behavior, because of lack of support, because of how things just have to be done, "RIGHT NOW", I guess I'm just not designed for this fast-paced environment. Even though I seem to be able to function just FINE everywhere else. Which brings me to the focus of this post.

Job applications.

The idea totally shakes me up. I save lists of jobs I'd love to apply for, but I'm anxious about even sending an email of my resume. How many jobs have I applied for in the last 6 years and not been offered? What ever happened to face to face? To people meeting people. All we are is a list of words these days. I've only had a handful of teaching interviews. Most of those were for substitute teaching. I've only ever been called back for a second interview once, and that was for this job I have now. What is wrong with my resume? My cover letters? I honestly have no idea. Stock letter? Original letter? Reformat? Imitate? Who's the dope who gave up her $15.50/hr because she had to teach? *kicks self*

I know it's silly to be afraid to send out resumes. At some point, something has got to come out of it. But the lack of respond is pretty frustrating. I actually had an interview and an invitation for a second interview and then, nothing! I seemed to pushy by emailing? I called and shouldn't have? Or maybe there are just that many more people out there with more experience? This has been the case for the last 6 years. How can I get experience without a chance to get experience?

Anyway, I made a list of ideas of where to apply in OneNote, and that triggered this "why, why, why" cycle for me. I'd LOVE to hear someone else complain about their unsuccessful journey. Misery loves company. :-) Okay, I'm only miserable for the amount of time I put into this blog post, but I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one in the same frustrated position!

I just want to work hard. Do an awesome, efficient job. Get paid $16-19/hr. Get a new car. Make people happy with what I'm doing. Work hard and leave it there. Organize things. Teach, if possible. Have a boss who is honest and considerate. Someone who wants to work as a team to do an awesome job at whatever we're doing. Or at least coworkers who do.

Anyone else out there? Is there any way to do this without going back to school?